Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
