I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
