Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
