I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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