i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I got inside last night via doggy door
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