everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
