Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
