Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The air was thick with penises
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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