Quick, to the slutcave!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
