It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Vodka?
Forever.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
