Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
