so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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