it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
