Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
