is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
