So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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