wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
True strength comes from lack of pants
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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