I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
