i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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