I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
