I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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