there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
