hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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