Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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