So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize