talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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