yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize