Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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