Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You're earring is so big in my mouth
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
