I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
