So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
That's intense
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
