I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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