i jhust puked up my retainher.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
