i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
