so that wasnt chicken after all
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
