i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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