Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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