your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
