the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
