We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
