they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He has the fingertips of a God
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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