He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
