At least make sure they are 18
Why
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
