He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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