So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
