Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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