i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize