Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
