so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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