A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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