you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
