drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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