i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
