Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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