for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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