**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize