i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
