Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
