I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
