just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
