I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
