I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
