Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
