Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
