just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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