that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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