This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
