More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
