i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it's like heaven, but drunker
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
