I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
