He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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