I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
