Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
