Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
