Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
40s are totally the cure
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
