Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
