): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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