adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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