Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
