Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize